I definitely don't get on this site enough. This is especially clear when I look over my blog postings. Shameful.
So, I made the resolution this year (and I usually don't make resolutions) that I would just be happy with my life as it is. This has to do with so many things, but one of them is being single. I have decided to be ok with being single. And you know, since I made that decision, I have been just fine being single. In fact, happier than I've been in a long time. I have a full life. I have a job I actually like and feel like I'm good at. I am going to graduate school and doing pretty well at it. All A's so far... My kids are turning out to be creative, well-balanced people who care about the world and the people around them. I get out and have fun most weekends - like going out to listen to local bands. I've taken up playing pool of all things, although I'm not particularly good at it so far. I have fun with it anyhow. I love taking my camera out and shooting pics of things I see every day, but maybe up close or at an angle I had never considered before.
I don't think it really gets much better than this. I'm in no hurry to change anything.
I think I have too much on my plate. On top of the rigorous graduate school deal, I am trying to lose weight - and keep track of my calories and exercise. And job hunt. I think I just need to make the diet and exercise a routine so that I don't have to keep track of it. I don't have the time. I'm already sick of spending so much time sitting in front of the computer.
It's my second term at grad school. Most of the time I'm pretty confident about my abilities. There is something about the start of the term, though. I find myself going through a bit of a panic, wondering if I really belong here - am I doing the right thing? Is this the right move for me or am I just throwing my money away??? It was to the point today where my chest was tight, and I couldn't breathe deeply. I think it has something to do with the level of work required this term. Good Lord. It's extremely rigorous! And they want me to do things like write up my philosophy of education. I have no idea what to write. I know if I can get focused, I can come up with something. I think one of the main problems is that I expect myself to come up with something spectacular. No pressure from me there.....
And then I remembered the phenomen Andy Job discussed in the first night of ELP 521. Returning adults frequently go through an "invisible imposter" phase upon return. Ok, it's been delayed by about a term, but here I am, doing just that. The sense that I don't belong and can't possibly do this. Then I was ok.
I can't believe it's been almost two years since I last posted here. My goodness.
So, here's the deal, we've moved twice. (Oh My GOD.) and have landed in a different apartment complex in which we might or might not stay as it is slightly on the mustly and damp side. I am not working, but am instead attending graduate school in (ta da) education ...the field to which I swore I would never return. Yet, here I am. It keeps pulling at me, oddly. Life seems to go more smoothly when I am heading in the right direction, and this seems to be the right direction.
I've finally been hearing rumblings here and there in the media - people FINALLY addressing population as an environmental concern. If you think about it, if the population were more limited, there would not be the environmental concerns we have today. I know that's sacreligious to some of you out there, but really, what's so special about us that we have to reproduce like yeast?
Well, it took a week, but I am now getting responses from women. (Yeah!) Other women who aren't looking for sex in all the wrong places. (whew.) I think I may just be able to locate a few good walkers.
Otherwise, it seems to be either sex maniacs, old out of shape men, and of course, my potential fishing buddy, whom I have no complaints about whatsoever. In fact, I am beginning to really look forward to some time in the outdoors, and learning to fly fish. Being the geek that I am, I have been reading up on the subject. It's amazing what's out there for potential women fisherpersons!
I will take my sketch pad, a journal, and my camera just in case the fishing is slow. Yes, it's true, I have ADD, and if there is no action, I can get pretty darned bored pretty darned quick. This is assuming I cannot see the fish, cannot use the rod (I tried it once a good 20 years ago, and didn't get the line caught in anything, so I think it will go ok.) When I learned before, I'm not sure anyone told me , really, how to go about it. As far as I could tell, I was just beating the water with a fly on the end of a string. My friend explained to me, though, that there is a method to the madness, and that you actually do need to spot fish and aim for where they are feeding. I could feel the lightbulb coming on. Maybe I can do this after all.
I know if nothing else, my companion will be funny, entertaining, and intelligent, won't get drunk while we're out there (he doesn't drink) , isn't a nudist (no offense to the nudists who may be reading this) and seems to know what he's doing. And even if the fishing isn't so good, I will enjoy being outdoors away from the concrete.
And that's really what it's all about. Unless my bumper sticker is correct, and the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about. Hm. Food for thought.
I must have posted it in the wrong section or something. That's the only thing I can figure happened.
This weekend, everyone I knew, and I do mean everyone, was out of town. I really wanted to go hiking, and didn't want to go alone. I thought it would be a great opportunity to perhaps meet some new people. So, I placed and ad on Craigslist under "Strictly Platonic."